Induction Dates

We have finally got an induction date! Or rather, two induction dates.

But how is that? Two? You only birth once, yes?

True, I am only going to birth this baby once, but when is the question. Little Foot has somewhat low fluids. Not dangerously low, she still has the means to live. If it's any lower at our next appt though, we'll be having ourselves a baby on the 6th, if not, then we're going to have her on the 14-15th!

As I posted before, I really wanted a natural, un-augmented birth. I'm mildly dissapointed that this is no longer going to happen, but honestly, I've been throwing up for days, I've got stomach cramps, no apetite, and can't seem to stop losing weight. With the surgery, pushing is going to hurt my incision quite a bit anyways, and I had already considered the fact that an epidural might be neccasary to avoid crapping out from exhaustion half way through delivery and having to have a c section. I've come to terms and made my peace with this and really just cannot wait for this to be over.

I know it seems a little extreme to put it that way, but recently, I've had nightmarish panic attacks. I can't stop worrying about her all the time. I'm always terrified that she's dead or sick. If I can't get her to move, i hyperventilate. I just can't handle it anymore, emotionally, or physically. I've even sobbed about these things to the point of throwing up and I can't handle it.

I'm more than ready for this to happen, and yes, I am killer nervous about this induction, but I couldn't be more excited to hold her. I'd cut her out myself if I thought it were the only way to save her, and so an induction seems not so bad in comparison (;

Can't wait to meet this baby!