1. I love the way my daughter looks up at me when I nurse her.
Her eyes are dark blue and her face is sweet as can be. It brings a tear to my eye everytime we lock eyes and she tries to smile and nurse at the same time. I don't really know why, but I just love how she looks when I nurse her- she looks adorable! Her little lips trying to greedily take all the boob she can get and growling when it takes a minute to let down.
2. I adore her hands 'kneeding' me
She often tries to grab and massage my breast when letting down doesn't happen right away. Which I find adorable. Of course. She looks like she's really focusing on it and it just melts my heart!
3. I love being able to tell obnoxious family members she's hungry so I need to feed her.
Because they can't. ;D It's a bittersweet deal. I AM the only one with the breast that feeds this baby, so it means at 3am, it is me who must crawl out of bed and feed our tiny nursling. BUT I am also the one who gets to see her and hold her warm against my chest while she quietly and comfortably fills her tummy. Everyone else just has to hope they have what she wants and that it'll be enough. But I have what she will always want. (Even if they aren't hungry, they often comfort nurse, which is just barely sucking but not actually swallowing or trying to meet a goal.)
4. I (finally) enjoy the ease of it.
Previously, I had a rough patch and coveted the few times I made her a bottle. I looked forward to making her a bottle and hoped Levi would suggest it so I wouldn't have to feel guilty about it. Now though, making a bottle is a BIG deal. I can't stand how formila smells, I hate waiting for the water to warm up, I hate the powder mess. Blah blah blah. All I have to say, is that bottle feeding mamas DONT have it easy. For real. Any one who says a mom chooses bottle feeding selfishly, is most likely wrong. If not a special case, bottle feeding is usually the more difficult, pricey, and obnoxious way to go.
5. I love how cheap it is.
I cringe every time I buy a thing of formula. My wallet writhes in agony and my brain aches. I have come to wonder if the charge by the powdery grain for that stuff.
6. I take pride in knowing I made it.
It was excruciatingly hard the first month. I cried every time i nursed her, and so did she. It broke my heart seeing her struggle to latch on, and knowing that I could have so much trouble with something so natural. Levi saw the struggle and while he rallied me on, he also let me know that there is no shame in doing things differently.
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