Dear Sprout,
Today we took you to get your first shots, they went okay.
Well, that's the very short and emotionless explanation. But as your mother, (which at some age I'm sure you'll learn, is dramatic and sensitive.) I'm obligated to tell you the long version.
Which is this:
We talked for a long time about not giving you your shots, but when i really thought about the odds, I figured I'd rather have to take you to the ER because I did what your pediatrician (an expert on your tiny baby body and health!) told me was best and what I felt would save trouble and your health, rather than skip it, because I was scared of the pain you'd feel. (which is my personal 'feel' about it, some mamas just feel its best to skip, and that's just what was best for their families!)
So when it came time to get your shots, we drove you to a tiny office labeled "Health Department" and waited for them to call your sweet name. They did, and we went to a tiny room with a mobile hanging over what looked like a torture table. Momma felt a tight knot in her tummy, and fought watery eyes. She wanted to be brave for you, but she was so scared for you. Poppa rubbed your tiny head of hair and told you how sweet and cute you were. We both listened intently as the nurse explained possible side effects (nausea inducing to think about some of them!) and the type of painkiller we could give you. She explained our options for administration.
It went something like this:
Hold your teensy tiny baby down, Poppa on legs, Momma on arms, and we'll stab her three times in her itty bitty baby thighs.
OR
Momma can scrunch the baby up and hold her still while someone comes up from behind and stabs her.
Momma felt so bad!! It broke her heart to think of holding you down like that!!
So Momma asked if she could nurse you and hold you. We luck out! The nurse was also a lactation consultant and had no qualms with it! So I latched you on and you looked up at me with your big blues, and nursed. I felt her grab your small thigh and you turned a shade of red I hadn't seen yet, and sucked in more air than I thought possible, and to our surprise, let out a heart wrenching quiet cry. She waited for you to latch back on, which you did pretty quick and then gave you two more, it went quick and you only whimpered.
I was super proud. I didn't end up crying, and for the second time that day, I got complimented excessively on being a bfing momma. It's moments like this one, that I am truly grateful to have been nursing!!
Until next time-
Love, Momma!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Nexplanon
Disclaimer: I hate, and I do mean hate it when guys, or really anyone, tries to assume any intense emotion a woman has must be because of hormones. You insinuate that women can't have real or genuine upsets, and if they do, they're so simple minded, it could only be hormones. It's a very sensitive and intense pet peeve of mine.
However. I can admit (after the fact) when it is indeed hormones causing my melt down. Lately that's been more and more than I like.
I recently got the nexplanon birth control. It's a small stick that goes into your upper arm and releases small amount of hormones, over a course of years, to increase the mucus around the cervix and prevent the sperm from entering the uterus. I enjoy the ease and simplicity of it, but it is clear that it has downfalls.
Reasons I am glad I got it:
1. It's easy- there's nothing to remember and the insertion was painless, despite the nasty looks of it.
2. It lasts! It provides you with birth control for 3 years. No re-insertion in that time period.
3. If your insurance covers birth control, it covers this. Which is great since it's a fortune out of pocket.
4. It's safe to have while breast feeding.
5. It's VERY effective. It does have one of the highest effectiveness rates among birth control options.
6. It's discreet. A myth I'd heard was that it's visible in your arm. I didn't really care, but I'm glad it isn't. It'd be weird. You can see it if you pull the skin tight around it, but at rest and un bothered it's virtually invisible. and after the first two weeks I completely forgot about it.
Reasons I might not leave it in for the whole 3 years:
1. It's giving me CRAZZZYYYY mood swings. I'm doing worse than when I was pregnant. Literally. I cried for half an hour becuase my boyfriend bought the pack of diapers with the better money value (more diapers in the bag for a lower price) rather than the bag with the cuter baby on it. I cried, folks. About a pack of freaking diapers.
I think that about wraps it up, I'd still reccomend it to any one looking for long term birth control, but it is a bit of a struggle at first with the mood swings.
However. I can admit (after the fact) when it is indeed hormones causing my melt down. Lately that's been more and more than I like.
I recently got the nexplanon birth control. It's a small stick that goes into your upper arm and releases small amount of hormones, over a course of years, to increase the mucus around the cervix and prevent the sperm from entering the uterus. I enjoy the ease and simplicity of it, but it is clear that it has downfalls.
Reasons I am glad I got it:
1. It's easy- there's nothing to remember and the insertion was painless, despite the nasty looks of it.
2. It lasts! It provides you with birth control for 3 years. No re-insertion in that time period.
3. If your insurance covers birth control, it covers this. Which is great since it's a fortune out of pocket.
4. It's safe to have while breast feeding.
5. It's VERY effective. It does have one of the highest effectiveness rates among birth control options.
6. It's discreet. A myth I'd heard was that it's visible in your arm. I didn't really care, but I'm glad it isn't. It'd be weird. You can see it if you pull the skin tight around it, but at rest and un bothered it's virtually invisible. and after the first two weeks I completely forgot about it.
Reasons I might not leave it in for the whole 3 years:
1. It's giving me CRAZZZYYYY mood swings. I'm doing worse than when I was pregnant. Literally. I cried for half an hour becuase my boyfriend bought the pack of diapers with the better money value (more diapers in the bag for a lower price) rather than the bag with the cuter baby on it. I cried, folks. About a pack of freaking diapers.
I think that about wraps it up, I'd still reccomend it to any one looking for long term birth control, but it is a bit of a struggle at first with the mood swings.
A Change Of Heart: Breastfeeding
Well, if you've read my previous thoughts on breastfeeding, you'd know we had a pretty rough patch. While some of it is just what it is (I.e. the clothing and leaking situation) a lot of my thoughts and feeling on it have changed. I love nursing for several reasons now and really hope to make it to 6 mos!
1. I love the way my daughter looks up at me when I nurse her.
Her eyes are dark blue and her face is sweet as can be. It brings a tear to my eye everytime we lock eyes and she tries to smile and nurse at the same time. I don't really know why, but I just love how she looks when I nurse her- she looks adorable! Her little lips trying to greedily take all the boob she can get and growling when it takes a minute to let down.
2. I adore her hands 'kneeding' me
She often tries to grab and massage my breast when letting down doesn't happen right away. Which I find adorable. Of course. She looks like she's really focusing on it and it just melts my heart!
3. I love being able to tell obnoxious family members she's hungry so I need to feed her.
Because they can't. ;D It's a bittersweet deal. I AM the only one with the breast that feeds this baby, so it means at 3am, it is me who must crawl out of bed and feed our tiny nursling. BUT I am also the one who gets to see her and hold her warm against my chest while she quietly and comfortably fills her tummy. Everyone else just has to hope they have what she wants and that it'll be enough. But I have what she will always want. (Even if they aren't hungry, they often comfort nurse, which is just barely sucking but not actually swallowing or trying to meet a goal.)
4. I (finally) enjoy the ease of it.
Previously, I had a rough patch and coveted the few times I made her a bottle. I looked forward to making her a bottle and hoped Levi would suggest it so I wouldn't have to feel guilty about it. Now though, making a bottle is a BIG deal. I can't stand how formila smells, I hate waiting for the water to warm up, I hate the powder mess. Blah blah blah. All I have to say, is that bottle feeding mamas DONT have it easy. For real. Any one who says a mom chooses bottle feeding selfishly, is most likely wrong. If not a special case, bottle feeding is usually the more difficult, pricey, and obnoxious way to go.
5. I love how cheap it is.
I cringe every time I buy a thing of formula. My wallet writhes in agony and my brain aches. I have come to wonder if the charge by the powdery grain for that stuff.
6. I take pride in knowing I made it.
It was excruciatingly hard the first month. I cried every time i nursed her, and so did she. It broke my heart seeing her struggle to latch on, and knowing that I could have so much trouble with something so natural. Levi saw the struggle and while he rallied me on, he also let me know that there is no shame in doing things differently.
All in all, i enjoy it now! and encourage other mums to power through it! :)
1. I love the way my daughter looks up at me when I nurse her.
Her eyes are dark blue and her face is sweet as can be. It brings a tear to my eye everytime we lock eyes and she tries to smile and nurse at the same time. I don't really know why, but I just love how she looks when I nurse her- she looks adorable! Her little lips trying to greedily take all the boob she can get and growling when it takes a minute to let down.
2. I adore her hands 'kneeding' me
She often tries to grab and massage my breast when letting down doesn't happen right away. Which I find adorable. Of course. She looks like she's really focusing on it and it just melts my heart!
3. I love being able to tell obnoxious family members she's hungry so I need to feed her.
Because they can't. ;D It's a bittersweet deal. I AM the only one with the breast that feeds this baby, so it means at 3am, it is me who must crawl out of bed and feed our tiny nursling. BUT I am also the one who gets to see her and hold her warm against my chest while she quietly and comfortably fills her tummy. Everyone else just has to hope they have what she wants and that it'll be enough. But I have what she will always want. (Even if they aren't hungry, they often comfort nurse, which is just barely sucking but not actually swallowing or trying to meet a goal.)
4. I (finally) enjoy the ease of it.
Previously, I had a rough patch and coveted the few times I made her a bottle. I looked forward to making her a bottle and hoped Levi would suggest it so I wouldn't have to feel guilty about it. Now though, making a bottle is a BIG deal. I can't stand how formila smells, I hate waiting for the water to warm up, I hate the powder mess. Blah blah blah. All I have to say, is that bottle feeding mamas DONT have it easy. For real. Any one who says a mom chooses bottle feeding selfishly, is most likely wrong. If not a special case, bottle feeding is usually the more difficult, pricey, and obnoxious way to go.
5. I love how cheap it is.
I cringe every time I buy a thing of formula. My wallet writhes in agony and my brain aches. I have come to wonder if the charge by the powdery grain for that stuff.
6. I take pride in knowing I made it.
It was excruciatingly hard the first month. I cried every time i nursed her, and so did she. It broke my heart seeing her struggle to latch on, and knowing that I could have so much trouble with something so natural. Levi saw the struggle and while he rallied me on, he also let me know that there is no shame in doing things differently.
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